Lesson One: Tactics (to Avoid) for Breaking Up

All right, as much as it disgusts me. There something I have to do. I have to bring something up to you guys as a Lesson right out the gate. I would much prefer to be bashing my fellow females for being high maintenance, insecure or better yet, jealous. But Nooooo, I have to talk about the methods you may and may not use to end a relationship with someone.

Grrr....

#1. You may not break up via text message UNLESS you've only gone out once. And in that case, you're only allowed to cancel the second date with harmless lies.

#2 If you've been dating someone, she's met friends, she's spent the night, you know, you're DATING then you can't break up via voicemail OR email. As much as it sucks, you owe it to her to tell her to her face.

#3 You may not (as implied above) break up via a social networking site. If I ever hear of someone doing a "wall post" to end something, I'll end them. I know people.

#4 Snail mail. While rather romantic for love letters or birthday cards, this is also a rather poor way to end a relationship due to the 2-3 day lag in which you'll need to avoid calls.

#5 The 5th Grade Breakup. Once, in Junior High, Nick called me on behalf of Andy to tell me that Andy wanted to break up. That's okay in 5th grade because then Nick asked me out and it was all cool in the school. That is not okay past Junior High.

#6 The most vile of them all... The Silent Treatment. You may not end a relationship by the silent treatment. This would be one of the main ways to take a normal, well-adjusted girl and make her boil rabbits. Keep that in mind.

Now I don't want you thinking I'm all rules and no fun here are the things you are allowed to do - but never admit:

*Lie. The truth hurts. I'd rather hear "I'm just too busy for a girlfriend" than "Your ass doesn't look good in leggings" any day of the week. Soften the blow if you must.

*Start dating right away - hey, we do too!

*Don't keep your "Of course we'll still be friends" promise. If you don't like her enough to date her, chances are you'll not like her much better as a friend.

Over and out,
kat.