Counterpoint: The Tipping Point

I'm not talking about The Tipping Point that was a national best seller -- with all that lovely mush about tipping and paying it forward and making the world a better place. No, I'm talking about the tipping point where... a chick (or dude, but that's not the point here), tips right over the edge of sanity. Perhaps with the help of the lovely fermented form of sugar or barley, but sometimes... she's just teetering way too close to the edge, poised to fall.

And here are my thoughts on that -- I take mental health pretty seriously, and those of you who know me know that for years, I've been the FIRST person to make a lot of allowances for people who might, frankly, have some serious mental / emotional work to do. Mental health is health. That said, I will NEVER understand you dudes who seem not only to make exceptions for this behavior, but SEEK OUT the women on the edge. It's like ya'll will see a total stable, successful, happy chick, date her, and then toss her to the curb in favor of The Crazy. I can't tell you how many of my male friends have given up an awesome woman their own age for a 22 year old with multiple personalities that doesn't have a checking account.

And yeah, I get it. The 22 year old is hot. She's cute, and sweet and looks up to you like you're God's gift to women, and that makes you feel powerful and strong. She needs you to fix a lot of stuff and help her sort out life (unlike the woman your own age, who probably can change her own oil and might make more money than you). She has absolutely no expectations of you whatsoever, and that makes her really easy to date.

She will also completely fuck your shit up.

Because here's the lesson -- the PBR-induced deep end that Kat discusses below is pretty normal and I'd venture to say we've all been there (sometimes even without PBR -- I can remember one time at age 27 when I packed a bag and went to my parents for the night because my ex-boyfriend was watching some SI swimsuit episode thing on TV and I took that as a personal affront. Supermodels in bathing suit?! Yes, clearly he's the only man interested in that... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight).

But I'm talking about the deep end that basically means one of two things:

1) she's too young for you
2) she's mentally unwell / non self-aware

And for this I will criticize both men and women.

Men, don't go for this chick. She's not a problem to solve or a project to "fix," and anything you ty to do to "fix" her will only result in a level of codependence that leaves you both obligated to each other in unnecessary ways. Nobody can change unless they want to, and this is one thing you can't figure out -- no matter how hard you try or how ambitious you are.

Chicks, if you are teetering on the tipping point, it's time to take stock. Maybe step out of the dating pool for a while and focus on you. Conquer your demons. Gain the confidence and self-awareness that comes with a bit of introspection. Date yourself for a while -- in the end, you'll not only be a woman you're proud of, but the woman any guy would be proud to date.

I hate that part in Jerry MacGuire where he says, "You complete me." HELLO! Codependent much? I don't want anybody to complete me, nor do I want to compete anybody else. I want two complete, happy, mentally stable and easygoing people coming together to REINFORCE each others completeness -- not because they are looking to overcompensate for each other's weakness.

So -- bottom line:

Chicks? Don't be the crazy.

Men? Don't date the crazy.

Everybody wins!

Be sure to check back frequently as the response has been great -- tonight, over wine, we'll be tackling the all-too-familiar-to-us-both topic of internet dating.

~Jess