Kat's Take on Internet Dating

Tony, Tony, Tony - I'm going to call you Tony. Is that okay? No? Too bad.

Internet dating is an elusive beast. The sort of elusive beast that people without gumption and drive are likely to lose battles against. (Did I just end a sentence in a preposition? I do that, deal with it.)

I've done four stints on Match.com. Each distinctly different in its approach thus each rendering a very different sort of result.

First, I followed YOUR typical recipe (classically funny by the by):

You all really love your close circle of girlfriends and that no guy will ever come between you and them (unless you're really hot and in Cabo when they come for girl's weekend). You all read "Eat, Pray Love", "The Secret" and "Kite Runner"* You are all "as comfortable in heels and a little black dress as you are in sweats and a baseball cap"**. You love to travel, eat sushi and you have no interest in redheads who work in IT.


You know what I got from that? About 52 hits in 2 hours. Winks and emails coming out my ying. From there, a few dates -- most with men who had photos from 35 pounds ago or guys who had cross-eyes or braces. (Guys - we're aware when you've got sunglasses on in every photo or CONSTANTLY smile with your mouth closed that there's a deal breaker involved.)


From there I started posting ugly photos of myself in hopes that my pool of men would be reduced or that I could just pursue the ones of interest without distraction. This did not garner the response I was looking for. Shocker I know.


Finally, I took the "Match in Tiny Doses" approach. My profile was also changed from what I viewed as enticing to others to brutal honesty with a sprinkle of bitch aka pure, unadulterated Kat.


Guess what? In my two day dose with my bitchy profile I met a guy who found my truest self entertaining and intriguing. Whodathunkit!?


What's the morale of the story, Kat? Well, Tony, its this.


1. Update your damn pictures.

2. Only Match.com in spurts and take breathers for clarity. (I used Match.com as a verb here)

3. Don't write your profile for what you think others are looking for, write your profile for you.

4. Go easy on yourself, even as a 5'8" platinum blond that a dude name "Tiger89"*** has written at least three dozen times, I still got brutally denied on Match.


You seem truly funny, truly down-to-earth and are not likely to be single forever despite the fact you work in IT and have red-hair.


Best of luck to you, young Jedi,
-kat


*I've only read "Eat, Pray, Love" and I did like it. Although I rebelled against reading it for awhile based on the "Pray" part. (I'm a heathen)
**I'm totally NOT comfortable in a little black dress and heels.
***Tiger89 is a Minneapolis renowned Match.com'er who has written EVERY girlfriend I know that has ever been on Match. Does this dude have a job?