I'm not a big fan of statistics because 1) I constantly forget the exact numbers b) I don't trust numbers that can be manipulated to prove a point and iii) 50% of statistics are made up (tee hee) but I heard a comment (maybe a stat) once that went something like this:
50% of all single women instigate relationships in late November and end them in mid February.
(I made up the 50% but I think it was something that made us look more desperate than that)
But it totally made sense to me and I couldn't believe I'd never come up with that little scheme myself. Presents, a date to parties, someone to love me in my post-holiday muffin top, hang tight through Blue Monday, stick it out to Valentines Day and ouila! The perfect Holiday Dating Coup.
But then I thought about it a bit more and realized that I could never pull that off for a few reasons:
1) I can't pretend to like anything I don't - I simply don't know how
2) I like being alone better than being with most people
3) Karmically, I'd meet the man of my dreams while in the middle of said coup (that shit just happens to me)
But I thought it might be fun to list the ways that good guys can avoid getting scooped up as the poor sucker to some girls insecurity during the holidays.
*If you meet her online and her profile states "Looking for that special someone to share life's turkey dinners and boxes of chocolates" Buyer Beware
*If your first date consists of attending a couple's Baby Jesus Shower complete with shower games and lacking booze (even some tasty 'nog), you can bet you're her HoliSchmuck. No one would do that to someone they liked.
*...I can't concentrate, I'm too busy watching MSNBC - I can't stop. Its going to be a long day. Go Vote! And then come back and help me with this...
*Uhhh...huuuuhhhhh. I want to say something about having the full collection of 25 years of Santabears but I just keep on seeing Sarah Palin and thinking she's Tina Fey.
Get out the vote,
-kat
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1 comment:
This is SO, SO true! I was actually just reflecting on the exact same fact to a girlfriend the other day. I told her that if I could guarantee I'd have a fling every year that lasted from November to March, I'd gladly give up a lifetime of serious relationships. She said I was ridiculous. Damn romantic. I also think that living where the average temp is -30 degrees exacerbates this tendency. Something about having someone in my bed seems to magically cure any symptoms of seasonal affective disorder in the frigidity of January...but come Spring I always have an overwhelming desire to clean up, air out, and move on.
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